Healing and behavioral change occurs when the Spirit of Truth, Jesus brings truth into the heart and mind
Lie Category Possible lies producing the painful emotions.
1. Abandonment “I am all alone. I have been overlooked. I will always be alone. They do not need me. I
don’t matter. No one even cares. They are not coming back. There is not one to protect me. God has forsaken me too. No one will believe me. I cannot trust anyone. I am afraid they won’t come back.”
2. Shame “I am so stupid, ignorant, an idiot. I should have done something to have stopped it from happening. I allowed it. I was a participant. I should have known better. It was my fault. I should have told someone. I knew what was going to happen yet I stayed anyway. I felt pleasure so I must have wanted it. It happened because of my looks, my gender, my body, etc. I should have stopped them. I did not try to run away. I deserved it. I am cheap like a slut. I was paid for service rendered. I kept going back. I did it to him/her first. I’m bad, dirty, shameful, sick nasty.”
3. Fear “I’m going to die, he/she is going to hurt me. I do not know what to do. If I tell they will come back and hurt me. If I trust I will die. He/she/they are coming back. It is just a matter of time before it happens again. If I let him/her/them into my life they will hurt me too. Something bad will happen if I tell, stop it, confront it. They are going to get me. Doom is just around the corner.”
4. Powerlessness “I cannot stop this. He/she/they are too strong to resist. There is no way out. I am too weak to resist. The pain is too great to bear. I cannot get away. I am going to die and I cannot do anything about it. I cannot get loose. I am overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do. Everything is out of control. I am pulled from every direction. Not even God can help me. I am too small to do anything.”
5. Tainted “I am dirty, shameful, evil, perverted, etc. because of what happened to me. My life is ruined. I will never feel clean again. Everyone can see my shame, filth, dirtiness, etc. I will always be hurt/ damaged/ broken because of what has happened. I will never be happy. I will always be unclean, filthy, etc. God could never want me after what has happened to me. My body parts are dirty. No one will ever really be able to love me.”
6. Invalidation “I am not loved, needed, wanted, cared for, or important. They do not need me. I am worthless, have no value. I am unimportant. I was a mistake. I should have never been born. I am in the way. I am a burden. I was never liked by them because I was __________________. God could never love or accept me. I could never be as _________ as she/he. I could never jump high enough to please him/her.
7. Hopeless “It is never going to get any better. There is no way out. It will just happen again and again. There is not good thing for me. I have no reason to live. There are not options for me. I just want to die. Nothing good will ever come of this.”
8. Confusion “I don’t know what is happening to me. Everything is confusing. This does not make any sense. Why would they do this to me.” (In prayer sessions we need to discern whether confusion is a lie or is from demonic forces)
When lies are realized, the person needs to have the Spirit of Truth speak into them because it is the Truth that sets one free!
Sinful Vows or Covenants
Vows are also commonly developed in situations like the one Rev Joseph Kiyimba experienced. Unholy vows or covenants sound like this:
Here is a short teaching on vows by another one of my teachers, Dr. Karl Lehman:
Why are vows destructive, and how do they block the healing process?
Our understanding is that when we make a sinful vow, we are using our God-given free will to make a choice to take a certain position. When we make a sinful vow, we give psychological authority to the choice in the vow, we limit the Lord’s authority to work within the jurisdiction of the vow, and we give spiritual authority to the enemy within the jurisdiction of the vow. In one case, choices/vows such as “I will not feel, I will not remember, I will not tell” provide a good example. These choices/vows provided the psychological foundation for the corresponding behaviors of disconnection, denial, and deception (hiding certain memories from herself and others). These choices/vows limited the Lord’s authority to work in the clients traumatic memories and gave the enemy authority to demonically infect these memories to the extent that the chosen position was outside the Lord’s best plan for connection, light, and truth in the client’s life.
Sinful vows as idolatry
“...no matter what it takes,” is the final clause of every vow: All vows have this final clause, usually unspoken. The reason all vows have this “...no matter what it takes” clause is that this clause is inherent in the very nature of vows. Nobody makes vows like “I will be the best, as long as it isn’t too much work,” “I will never tell, unless I decide it would be appropriate to tell,” “I will get you back some day, unless I decide to forgive you,” or “I will never cry, unless this vow gets in the way of my healing.” “No matter what it takes” is a dangerous clause because it places the object of the vow above all other considerations, and eliminates the option of making judgment calls about priorities in each situation. For example, with the vow “I will make something of myself – I will succeed – I will not be a failure...(no matter what it takes),” the person does not feel the freedom to discern “I would like to succeed, but my church retreat is more important – I guess I will have to pass on this special project.” When there is conflict between a promotion and caring for his marriage, this vow will push him to prioritize “success” over his marriage. When there is conflict between spending time with his children and working overtime in order to be the team leader, this vow will push him to prioritize “success” over his children. “No matter what it takes” is inherently sinful (idolatrous) because it places the object
of the vow in front of the Lord’s will. “I will ______ (fill in the vow) no matter what it takes” is sitting on the throne that belongs to “I will ask the Lord for guidance, and do whatever He leads me to do.”
Sinful vows block current adult choices: An optimally healthy person has a large range of responses available to him or her, each appropriate in its respective situation. Vows pathologically restrict our ability to use the full range of options – they eliminate our freedom to make free will choices in each situation. For example, sometimes it is appropriate to say exactly what you really think at the time a conflict is occurring, while at other times it is appropriate to “hold your peace” in the middle of the argument, and wait until a more appropriate time to say certain things. The vow “I won’t say what I really think – it’s not safe” eliminates the freedom to make this decision in each situation – it declares that I will always “wait until later,” that I will never say what I really think. “No matter what it takes” eliminating the option to make judgment calls about priorities in each situation is another example.
Each vow is a rule/law that declares it must always be done one way: “I will always...,” “I will never....” When we confess and renounce vows, we take back the freedom to make present, adult choices in each situation. Fulfilling vows necessitates sin: While making a vow may seem like a necessity at the time it is made – an unavoidable, or at least very understandable choice for surviving a difficult situation – it is striking that fulfilling or keeping vows seems to necessitate sin (we have not yet seen any exceptions). When sinful vows were made, they need to be cancelled